From the fertile mind of Jayson
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
  Home again. It's kind of odd to put my moose up on the mantle in my old room, next to my Chantilly High pennant and snowglobes from Boston, but so it goes. My parents are cool about me crashing here and everything, but they want me out mowing the tobacco fields adjoining the house at the crack of dawn. It sucks!

In the meantime, I still haven't gotten any firm offers on my book. I keep checking my agent's e-mail, but all I keep getting are letters from various sources with the government in Nigeria. Here's the most recent one:

It is with trust and confidence that I make this urgent and important proposal to you in view of the fact that you are trustworthy and reliable. Currently I have a business that I think would be of interest to you and your company.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. When you're good, you're good. 
  At least there's no way anyone can blame me for this
Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Every time I see this, it makes me want to smile. 
  Interesting. With friends like this, who needs enemies?

A fun sidenote: I interviewed him once. Who knew that Hope, Arkansas doesn't have tobacco fields? 
Friday, June 06, 2003
  Geez. Someone remind me not to keep the Paper of Record's Web site as my home page.

From Mean Mr. Mustard.

  Well, that was one hell of a sleepover. Woke up this morning, and Howie and Gerry were gone. As I absentmindedly looked out my window at the tobacco fields, kicking empty cans of Schlitz out of my way, I noticed they had T.P.ed my yard on the way out. The bastards.

Then I took a closer look. Turns out they didn't use toilet paper, but copies of this:

When they're good, they're good. 
Thursday, June 05, 2003
  On this difficult day for former Paper of Record employees like myself, it's doubly inspiring to see a young go-getter like this. Atta girl!  12:32 PM |
  Wow. Time to fold out the futon and make room for these guys. Between Rickey, and Stevie, and Howie, and Gerry, I think I'm going to have a full house for a while.

Seriously, I can't believe these guys got fired. I hope they got to take their meese with them.
Monday, June 02, 2003
  Damn. I feel like such an rank amateur now. I mean, who would have thought about plagarizing recipes? In fact, I may give my new pals Rick and Steve a call and see if they want to collaborate on a celebrity cookbook. I'm calling dibs on the dessert section -- after weeks of dogged independent reporting, I came up with a great recipe for Neiman Marcus cookies. They'll taste like nothing you've ever eaten before...

Your run-of-the-mill weblog from your run-of-the-mill disgraced reporter at a run-of-the-mill paper of record.

05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 / 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003 / 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 / 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 /

Paper of Record
Media Gossip

E-mail my agent.
(now working)

Powered by Blogger

Powered by

A Disclaimer, prompted by legitimate media queries from a news outlet that will remain anonymous to protect the clueless (but begins with an "F" and ends with an "X"): This site is a work of parody. But you knew that, right?