From the fertile mind of Jayson
. It's kind of odd to put my moose up on the mantle in my old room, next to my Chantilly High pennant and snowglobes from Boston, but so it goes. My parents are cool about me crashing here and everything, but they want me out mowing the tobacco fields adjoining the house at the crack of dawn. It sucks!
In the meantime, I still haven't gotten any firm offers on my book. I keep checking my agent's e-mail
, but all I keep getting are letters from various sources with the government in Nigeria. Here's the most recent one:
MR. BAYO ADEBAYO
CORE INVESTMENT STRATEGY
It is with trust and confidence that I make this urgent and important proposal to you in view of the fact that you are trustworthy and reliable. Currently I have a business that I think would be of interest to you and your company.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. When you're good, you're good.
At least there's no way
anyone can blame me for this
I see this, it makes me want to smile.
With friends like this
, who needs enemies?
A fun sidenote: I interviewed him once. Who knew that Hope, Arkansas doesn't have tobacco fields?
Someone remind me not to keep the Paper of Record's Web site as my home page.
From Mean Mr. Mustard.
Well, that was one hell of a sleepover
. Woke up this morning, and Howie and Gerry were gone. As I absentmindedly looked out my window at the tobacco fields, kicking empty cans of Schlitz out of my way, I noticed they had T.P.ed my yard on the way out. The bastards.
Then I took a closer look. Turns out they didn't use toilet paper, but copies of this:
When they're good, they're good.
On this difficult day
for former Paper of Record employees like myself, it's doubly inspiring to see a young go-getter
like this. Atta girl!
. Time to fold out the futon and make room for these guys. Between Rickey, and Stevie, and Howie, and Gerry, I think I'm going to have a full house for a while.
Seriously, I can't believe these guys got fired. I hope they got to take their meese with them.
I feel like such an rank amateur
now. I mean, who would have thought
about plagarizing recipes? In fact, I may give my new pals Rick and Steve a call and see if they want to collaborate on a celebrity cookbook. I'm calling dibs on the dessert section -- after weeks of dogged independent reporting, I came up with a great
recipe for Neiman Marcus cookies. They'll taste like nothing you've ever eaten before...
Your run-of-the-mill weblog from your run-of-the-mill disgraced reporter at a run-of-the-mill paper of record.
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
Paper of RecordMedia Gossip
E-mail my agent.